overwhelming life

The past 10 days, I've experienced, learned, realized, and heard so many things. The past 10 days, I went to a retreat and God helped me realize that I needed to hang on to him and that he gives me protection over things that seem scary. Also, He helped me realize the importance of being connected to a vine as a branch to bear much fruit. My source of life and safety and identity belongs to Him.

The past few days have been really challenging for me. There have been and still are many disagreements, hopelessness, and negativity around me. All the hopes that and promises I've realized at the retreat seems to be diminishing rather quickly. I pray and hope it won't go away ever again and that just like I have prayed, people I love will focus on their relationship with God much more than their current status, their feelings, or their hardships. I pray for their heart that they will wake up from detrimental lifestyle and life pattern to LIVE and be a CHRIST FOLLOWER, a disciple, instead of a crowd member.

John1:1- Jesus was in the beginning, and Jesus was with God, and Jesus was God. : I am praying and believing this great, majestic, mysterious, and powerful God. I pray that I will not identify myself as something/someone else but I pray that I put my identity in you.
John1:2- Jesus with God in the beginning- HE knows everything i'm going through... HE was there ever since in the beginning. He knows my heart, thoughts, desires, hurts, and frustration. He was there like he was with God in the beginning
John1:3- Through him all things were made; without him nothing was made that has been made- only through God things can be made. Only through God broken relationships can be healed. Only through God hurts can be healed. Only through him hopes can be restored and made again. Only through him a path towards the right direction can be made... only through you God... Please don't let me.. or anyone I love to forget about that.
John1:4In him was life, and that life was the light of men- In Jesus, there's life. Just like what God told me at the retreat, if a branch is disconnected from the vine, it will wither and die. God is our source of life. God is life and when we have that life, it can used as a tool to shine light to the men. So.. I need to be saved via God and I need to constantly live (hang on to the vine) to shine the light that is guiding me from inside to others..
John1:5- The light sines in the darkness, but the darkness has not understood it: I hope when God is shining light into my darkness that I will be able to recognize and understand that it is light to life. I pray that they will be able to recognize that light and understand it. If they are buried so deeply in that darkness, can you bring them out from that darkness?
John1:6-9- John came as a witness to testify concerning that light, so that through him all men might believe- God's vision in my life to be a lighthouse. Remember this. I'm not providing the light. I'm just the building that stands firm and it's the light that does all the work in giving right direction and hope.
John1:10- Even though God was in the world and through Him it was made, world did not recognize him- Am I being oblivious to God's presence and his work in my life? Am I not recognizing that he is the one who made me and he is the one who gave me life and hope to hang on and not to give up...? I pray that we will all recognize HIM
John1:11-13: when we believe in his name, God gives us right to be his children- repent... and turn back to God and truly and full heart believe in God's name and all his promises.. (to protect and help me get through this... Protection over people I love)
John1:14-22 When we see his glory and his grace and truth, am i crying out like John saying and proclaiming God's existence and his glory and do this freely and humbly
John1:29-34 John testified Jesus who takes away the sin of the world, sins in my life, sins in my family, and all the sins..
John1:36-51 Recognize Jesus like the two disciples and John and follow HIM and ask him questions and strive conversations with HIM. When God tells me to "come", I pray that i will go without hesitation and see what he is saying and spend a day with him...