Friday, September 23, 2011

from kandee'sblogpost.

How to deal with sadness

No one knows the pain, hurt, or sadness that is inside another person's heart...
People everyday are going about their business with so much sadness, depression, feelings of being alone, overwhelmed or secretly being abused. Sometimes the world feels like it's too painful.

So many times throughout my life people have said, "oh but you always seem so happy" or , "I thought your life seems so perfect" or "I wish I had your life"...but if they really had my life they may not want it. I have been through many painful things in my life, and I know people have been through much worse things than me...
Many nights, tears just want to fall from my eyes...from the hurt, the imperfections in my life, the overwhelming amount of work it takes to try to support your kids on your own, the feeling of life being to heavy and just things that I am concerned about my family.

“Tears are the only cure for weeping,” George MacDonald, a Scottish preacher said.

My life is not perfect. Yes, I have happy moments and yes I have sad ones. And in this life, we have to keeping jumping the hurdles of sadness, because there will be more. Just like whenever I am sick and I think, "I don't ever want to be sick again!" I know I will, germs and viruses aren't going anywhere, so I am sure, eventually I will get sick again. Same thing with sadness, every time I've been sad or had my heart broken I think, "I don't ever want to feel this way again!" And sure enough, in this life, things will make us sad, people will break our hearts.
But the good news is..that when things start feeling too heavy, too painful, too much to bear...
Know that you are a "problem hurdler"...you can get over each painful situation, you can get over any heartbreak. Everyone survives a break-up, divorce, hurtful situation, bout of sadness.

Do not give up. Do not give in. Happy little moments are waiting to be lived. Rejoice in the tiny sparkles of life. I get excited about things easily, whether it's meeting a celebrity or meeting someone that just watches me on youtube- I actually get more excited for meeting "non-celebrities" (ha ha)...it's the excitement you have for life that will make your life seem happy. If you try to act cool all the time, that's just how your life will start to feel...cold.

Act silly. Be happy. Get excited about things....
I saw this sunset yesterday...
and it was worth getting excited over. Before this sunset I wanted to cry from feelings of being so beyond overwhelmed...it doesn't matter that I went to the Emmy Awards..that doesn't make someone's life happy...it just makes a few hours a little fancy.

When I feel like my heart is too sensitive for this world. I realize I don't need to fill my head with the latest drama that the news is stirring up.
When I feel like my heart is so heavy it can't be lifted...I have to lift my arms to the heavens.
The only answer I have that works for me is to pray.
The only thing I can do is think about the good things in my life. The things to be thankful for.
I have food to eat. Water to drink. I have a comfy place to sleep. And many people in this world don't have those things.

No matter how hard life may get...remember to just get ready for the next hurdle to jump over. Life is a series of hurdles (problem, sadness, depression, loneliness hurdles)...but we just need to keep jumping over them, smiling and laughing in between.

Life is a like an obstacle course- think of it as an adventure that you just have to keep going through, climbing over, sliding down, climbing up, and over every obstacle that comes in front of you. It doesn't do you any good to sit and cry about how hard the rope is to climb....just keep climbing out!

And if you do need a break to cry for a moment....I pray that it washes away all the "sadness-dust" that was collecting on your heart.

No need to do any heavy emotional lifting....God is stronger and said that's what He's there for...to lift the things that are too heavy for us.

You are not alone...I'm in the obstacle course with you! YOU CAN DO IT! We can do it! The most important beauty "tool" you have...is a heart that can share love and encouragement with others.

it is almost 3 in the morning...and I stayed up to write this for you...you know who you are, that needed to hear this...and if someone's reading this that doesn't need this...please just remember this in your heart for a time when you will....

I love you all, more than you will ever know...each one of you is amazing and precious and the world needs what you have to say, think, and your smile...
love your kandee

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

We can do it.

we CAN do hard things...
life is hard.
things go wrong.
your heart will hurt.
we will get sick again.
someone will make us mad and hurt our feelings.
and frustrated.
if you watch the news all the time you will get angry or depressed.
(mostly likely both)
there really isn't an EASY button for anything worthwhile.

Hard things, difficult things, things that hurt...
these make us stronger, they make us into people that say, "you know what? I've been through a lot, and these little problems are not going to stop me."
We can DO hard things.
We can survive painful situations and come out even more beautiful for having been broken into tinier, smaller, and more light reflective little pieces. Remember my disco ball saying- it's like the shattered mirror that is more sparkly because it's been broken.

You can either sit and dwell on all the hard things in your life and keep re-living all the awful things in your life OR
you can learn to say, this isn't gonna get me down...instead of dwelling on problems or all the bad stuff, I'm going to stop and start thinking about all my good stuff.
because:
WE CAN DO HARD THINGS.

WE CAN. WE ARE IN THIS WORLD TOGETHER.
We can survive.
We can choose to let ourselves love someone new and not people that hurt us, cheat on us, or try to hurt us.
We can leave an abusive relationship.
We can heal from wounds by people that have hurt us.
We can grow stronger and more understanding from the hard things we've been through.
We can grow better, not bitter.
We can find a way to take care of our family.
We can choose to forgive people- it frees you from walking around with the pain of what they've done to you.
We can choose wisdom and stay away from those that have hurt us.
We can be the change in our families.
We can spread light to a dark world.
We can love someone and forgive them for awful things they've done.
We can smile more.
We can give people compliments more -just watch what happens when you do.
We can be happy and dance with joy.
We can cry out to God to help us and hold us up when we can't go on.
We can realize that we have the power to have an imperfectly, awesome life.
And we can realize that the most beautiful lives aren't the perfect ones...
the most beautiful lives are when people had, have or are going through hard things and they become the coal...the coal that goes through so much pressure, it turns into a diamond.

Live like you mean it.

Just like when we work our and our muscles get sore...they tear, the very muscle fiber gets torn..but after it heals, the muscle become bigger, stronger...ready to do "harder" things than it did before.

We are like that too....we are going to have bigger hearts and stronger minds for all the tears in our heart...
We are in this together, you're not alone. Know that even though things seem hard, tell yourself:
WE CAN DO HARD THINGS! Bring it on baby! We can do it! Nothin's gonna stop us, scare us, or make us give up.

We Can do it. You can do it! I'm cheering you on, sending you love, and a whole lot of you are not alone-ness.

I love you AND We Can Do Hard Things. Decide today to live like you mean it.

love, hugs, and if no one told you you're awesome today and they they love you:

"You are so awesome and I love you soooo muchy much!"... love kandee